Have you ever noticed the way you talk to yourself about your body and your style? The words we use—both in our minds and out loud—shape the way we see ourselves and the energy we carry. And since February is the month of love, let’s talk about how we can shift our language to be more loving toward ourselves.
Where Our Attention Goes, Energy Flows
When we constantly focus on what we don’t like—“I hate my arms,” “I wish I could pull that off,” “Nothing looks good on me”—we direct our energy toward dissatisfaction and self-criticism. That negativity seeps into our confidence, our presence, and ultimately, the way we show up in the world.
But what if we redirected that energy? What if, instead of tearing ourselves down, we started speaking words that uplift us? Imagine replacing “I hate my arms” with “My arms allow me to embrace the people I love.” Instead of “Nothing looks good on me,” try “I’m learning what makes me feel my best.” These small shifts create a powerful ripple effect.
I started noticing this in myself a number of years ago. I was constantly focusing on my stomach and where it protruded or where I had lumps and bumps. Every time I looked in the mirror, that was what I saw. I felt uncomfortable in my clothes and didn’t want to wear any of them. Shopping became frustrating, and I felt stuck in a cycle of negativity.
One day, I’d had enough. I thought to myself, ‘What if I started focusing on something I love?’. I decided to experiment with this. I asked myself, ‘What do I love about my body?’ and I immediately went to my shoulders and décolletage (collar bones). So, every time I looked in the mirror, that was where I started focusing my attention. If I caught myself putting my attention elsewhere, I gently brought it back to what I love. The result? It didn’t take long at all to start feeling better in my clothes. I was shocked at how simple it was.
Style as a Reflection of Self-Love
How we dress is an extension of how we feel about ourselves. When we choose our clothes from a place of frustration, we reinforce those negative thoughts. But when we approach style as an act of self-care, everything changes.
Loving words lead to loving choices. Instead of saying, “I can’t wear that,” ask yourself, “What do I feel amazing in?” Instead of “I need to hide my body,” try “I want to celebrate myself today.” This shift not only transforms your personal style but also deepens the relationship you have with yourself.
A Valentine’s Month Challenge: Speak Love to Yourself
This month, I invite you to be intentional with your words. Here are three ways to change the way you speak to yourself:
Pay attention to how you speak about your body and your style.
When you catch a negative thought, pause. Would you say that to a close friend? If not, find a gentler, more compassionate way to express it.
Notice what others say to you. When you are gifted a compliment, pause and accept it. Feel it in your soul.
Bonus: Share some love with others—if you notice something beautiful about someone, gift them a compliment!
Let your words reflect the love you deserve. Let them shape a style that empowers you. And most importantly, let them remind you that you are already worthy, beautiful, and enough—just as you are.
Happy Valentine’s Month, and may your words be filled with love.
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